Monday, March 31, 2008

Glutton day

Sometimes you do things and in the middle of them you enjoy it or maybe don't even think about it, then later you suffer and wonder what in the hell you did that for. Today was one of those days.
I've been kind of an exercise fiend lately. Although I don't really call it exercise (makes me think of circa 80's aerobics classes with leotards and leg warmers). I just think of it was, well.. I guess I don't think, I just do. I DO Yoga, treadmill, lift weights, Tae Kwon Do, elliptical, walks and belly dancing. I enjoy it so I do it. Anyway, I've done a lot lately but still find myself a little doughy and underneath that doughy exterior is a hard body waiting to come out. It's just the cookies won't let it. Girl Scout Cookies, chocolate chip cookies, peanut butter cookies, haystacks (not really cookies but who's checking?) and now Keebler chocolate graham thingies. I went to the store yesterday to get ingredients for Minestrone soup (the most delicious soup I've ever had) and then had to go and ruin it by buying treats from Elves. Of course that wouldn't be the biggest problem. Here in a nutshell is the biggest problem:
I left them in my car.
I ate them mindlessly while driving.
By 5 o'clock I'd eaten half the package.
At 6 o'clock I taught a Power Yoga class.
At 7 o'clock I did 20 minutes on the elliptical.
At 7:30p.m. I had a headache and wanted to throw up. In fact, I even said to my friend, "Do you suppose if I talk about throwing up enough that I actually will?" Seriously, it would have felt better.

That'll learn me. I got home at 8 and ate a bowl of Minestrone. Did I mention it has 10 different vegetables in it? I feel much better. And I threw out (not up) the damned treats from the Elves.

Saturday, March 29, 2008


Having kids is never boring. You may have seen an e-mail circulating that says something to the effect of - "you also find out interesting things when you have sons, like..." If you haven't, let me know and I'll forward it to you. It is pretty funny. I have 2 boys, trust me, I know.
But then just when you think you've got things figured out, you get the proverbial monkey wrench. Mine is a baby girl named Eden. She's 21 months old, tall for her age and terribly coordinated. She's like my boys, X2. A month ago she finally realized that she had the ability to crawl out of her crib. Then to top it off she opened the door and let herself out.
She would be on the ceiling if her hands had suction cups. Since she doesn't she only makes it halfway up the wall.
Tonight, she went into her brothers' bathroom, shut the door and opened one of the drawers. It just so happened that the drawer was next to the door and essentially locked her into the room. And we couldn't pick the lock. So she happily ate toothpaste and chewed on her brothers' toothbrushes while sitting in the shower for the hour we tried, unsuccessfully, to get the door open. Finally, out of sheer randomness, she shut the drawer and came out. Oblivious. Thank God she didn't remember the joy of dropping things in the toilet.

So here is my own version of the e-mail. It goes something like this...

Things I've learned from my baby girl:
1. Goo gone gets pen off the television and permanent marker off the hardwood floor.
2. Too much bubble bath makes it hard to see the baby when she falls into the tub with her clothes on.

3. Babies prefer Cover Girl makeup.
4. It takes 5 washings with Dawn dish soap to get Cover Girl foundation makeup out of hair. (which, by the way, is scary – isn’t Dawn what they use to get OIL out of the fur and feathers of wild animals? How many washings does it take them?)
5. Sit 'n' Spins aren't that great unless you need to reach the counter top.

6. Long hair makes pretty knots.

If you wake up from your nap and are poopy, you can try to change yourself:
  1. Take out every diaper you can find
  2. Grab the box of wipes and pull out every single one.
  3. Don’t forget the powder
  4. Fall asleep on top of the pile of wipes on the floor.
This is a work in progress. Let's just hope it doesn't get too much longer.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Word of the Day

Recently, while looking up the official definition of procrastination I came across a new word. procrustean: [Procrustes, villain of Greek mythology who made victims fit his bed by stretching them or cutting off their legs] : marked by arbitrary often ruthless disregard of individual differences or special circumstances.
Why haven't I heard this before? I mean, this applies to so much! By my count, the following could all be considered as Procrustean.
  • Large corporations (Comcast, I'm looking right at you)
  • Corporate policies (ditto above)
  • The current health care system
  • Insurance
  • George Bush
  • Government in general and on all levels
  • Every law in the country
  • Schools
  • The fashion industry (jeans, swimsuits especially)
I've never been one for joining in large protest groups, however, I feel it necessary to establish my stance. I hereby declare myself as Anti-procrustean! Watch here for my upcoming manifesto.

Where's my Groove?

In the movie "How Stella Got Her Groove Back" (which I have not seen, by the way), I believe they refer to her 'Groove' as her desire to meet and be with a man? So, if referring to something else (say, writing...) would it still be referred to as 'Groove'? And how does one go about getting it back? Maybe I need to see the movie. Then again, maybe someone could give me the Cliff Notes on the 'Groove' and the 'Groove' getting Back part. I'm not sure I can afford the time and effort involved in doing it myself.
I'm slowly coming out of my Existentialist Funk. Almost reminds me of the days back in college spent memorizing crap (yes, crap) for my History of Psychology course. OK, maybe it really doesn't. It reminds of Psychology and Philosophy in a general way. But not specifically of a 3 days a week, 8am class on the names of crusty old men, their ancient seeming times and their then mind-bending ideas on what was real and what was illusion. Could you imagine if any of them lived now? Here's a fun idea for your next charades game: Sigmund Freud watching The Matrix. Talk about mind-blowing.
I think a big part of my funk is the weather. I kind of hate to blame it on the weather (mainly because I know it's really my choice to be in a funk or not) but yet, look at it! Today we got 9" of snow. S N O W. All I want is, well, no more SNOW! I know it will melt soon, but really, is that necessary? I'm going to go to bed, breathe softly and visualize anything but snow.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008


As in "I need one" or "you thought I was on one". No, I have not been in some tropical locale (I wish). I have been on what you could probably call a growth vacation. I've been going through a personal growth spurt and have been compelled to read voraciously. Last week I read 3 books! Among other things. I've noticed I seem to go in cycles of:

GROWTH: read, study, discuss, intake, process, learn, Yoga
: Blog, write, ideas, create, clean, sew, dance, exercise, Yoga
: Sleep, TV, Sit on my butt, sleep some more, really lame TV, do nothing, eat Girl Scout Cookies, not so much Yoga

So I did a little bit of the LAZY/REST (not necessarily the same thing, but often alternates between the two) and couldn't hold my eyes open past 8:30pm. Then Daylight Savings! Sad, but I actually welcomed it. For our family it was really just time adjusting to our changed sleep schedules. (And yes, I know it was early but you'd want it early too if your kids started waking up at 5am by mid April.)
And I did a lot of GROWTH - hence all the books. I read the God Code by Gregg Braden, The Disappearance of the Universe by Gary Renard and of COURSE I'm reading A New Earth by Ekhart Tolle. I mean, who isn't? Let's see, population of the
U.S. - Oprah Fans. More about that later. The book is really great at the end so keep moving through the beginning if you're just starting out. Let's just say EGO isn't just for Psychology majors anymore.
And now on to INSPIRATION! More to come...