Moving into the Winter of our lives

Here in Minnesota it seems we went from (a late) summer right into fall. One day it was in the 80's and the next it was in the 50's and hasn't rebounded to anywhere in between. It's been cold and rainy, so much so that it prompted me to ponder, "October showers bring November....?"

While I wish we had some warm or at least warmer, fall days before the snow loomed, I know it's coming one way or the other: Winter. Alas, don't fear the winter. After many late evenings, feeling sleepy from all the sun. After time spent outdoors as much as possible. After doing everything we normally do in our daily lives, AND fitting in barbecues and baseball practice and walks outside, I for one am actually looking forward to winter.

Winter is a time to snuggle into your house and snuggle with your family. Watch a movie and eat popcorn, cook some homemade soup, get caught up on household projects or just sleep a little more. I often say I don't have a favorite season. My favorite season is all of them, as they begin and we shift from one set of activities to another. As the newness of each season approaches with anticipation we look forward to something different, even as we go about all the same routines and habits of old.

Speaking of old habits and routines, the changing of the seasons is also a little time for reflection. As you move into this winter, take time to look back, before the year is over completely, on what has transpired. Is this year going the direction you intended? Have you accomplished those things you wanted to do? Has it gone the way you wanted? Are you getting the results you want in your life?
Either way, I think winter in general, as opposed to just January, is a fantastic time to make some changes. Winter is a time for staying in, for being together, for self reflection. You go out less, you interact less, you spend less. Just like in the current economy. Sometimes life is lively and exciting and growing and expanding (summer) and sometimes life is calm and peaceful and introspective and reflective (winter). What will you do in this winter, both of season and of economic cycles? Go with the flow and take a look back at yourself.

Self reflection can mean reviewing those goals you set earlier in the year, or earlier in your life. It can also mean you find what's not working so well and find ways to make it better. Read more books, educate yourself, find someone you can talk through your problems and issues with, take charge of your health, spend more time with your family. Take this time, this winter of your life, to do whatever it is you need to do to prepare yourself for summer and the next cycle of expansion!

"There is a privacy about it which no other season gives you.... In spring, summer and fall people sort of have an open season on each other; only in the winter, in the country, can you have longer, quiet stretches when you can savor belonging to yourself. "
~Ruth Stout

FUN

Have you heard the phrase, "What if the Hokey Pokey is what it's all about?"

There is some truth to that. What if FUN is what it's all about? What if playing games and singing songs and dancing around is what it's all about? What if?

Then working your fingers to the bone, accumulating debt and things and being tired and crabby is NOT what it's all about. Then many of us are missing out on a really important part of life. The people having fun are the ones we're attracted to. Deep down don't we all want to be included in the party?

I recently road my bike by a graveyard and saw a grave stone that was prepared for a couple. It had their names and dates of birth engraved on it. It had their children's names on it. It also said, "Proud members of the Fun Bunch." Wow, what a concept. They seem to me to be fully prepared for the end of their lives and fully aware that having fun is what it's all about.

"Live life fully while you're here. Experience everything. Take care of yourself and your friends. Have FUN, be crazy, be weird. Go out and screw up! You're going to anyway, so you might as well enjoy the process." ~Anthony Robbins

I asked my children what was fun to them. A bouncy house. A slip 'n' slide. Fishing. Watching fireworks. Oh, to have a child's eyes (and lack of self-consciousness) when it comes to fun.
I know an adult's idea of fun can be a little different than a child's. Maybe it is the same, just done in a different way. You can dance, but take lessons. You can sing, maybe just in the shower. You can play, it's just not duck, duck, goose. Or maybe it is.

Here is a list I recently made of ways to spark fun. Please choose 3 and do them. Today.

• Listen to music loud in the car by yourself singing loudly. Roll the windows down. Sing to the people in the car next to you. Use your thumb as a microphone.
• Play tennis. Especially if you've never played before. Pink balls preferred. By yourself - try to do both sides.
• Wear shirts with funny sayings or pictures on them.
• Learn some jokes that really make you laugh. Then try to tell them to as many people as possible. At least until you can do it without laughing. (here's a good one: A pirate walks into a bar and he has a ship's steering wheel attached to the front of his pants. The bartender asks him, "What's up with the steering wheel?' and the pirate answers, "Arrr, it's driving me nuts")
• Eat a donut. With lots of icky frosting and sprinkles. Or maybe pancakes with sprinkles on them.
• Dance. Anywhere. Anytime.
• Bury yourself in the sand at the beach. Bonus points for having kids bury you. Bonus, bonus if they're not your kids.
• Play video games. Especially simulator ones you get to sit on - like a motorcycle or ATV. Or wii.
• 3 words: Dance Dance Revolution
• Go to a music concert. Preferably loud rock or a music festival. Don't forget to crowd surf.
  
• Make up new words to songs.
• Jump in a bouncy house, or on a trampoline. Bonus points for a flip that doesn't land you on your head.
  
• Get a pogo stick or a hula hoop.
• Go on a frog hunt. Bonus points if you catch one and it pees on your hand.
• Go watch fireworks. Outside in your pajamas, laying on a blanket right underneath where they are being shot off.

The last one we did on Saturday night. Enjoy.

Stop and Smell the Milkweed

Take time to stop and smell the roses.

You know what that means. Slow down. Take time to appreciate the sights and sounds (and smells) around you. Stop rushing around and go with the flow. Stop, bend over and smell a flower for goodness sake!

We all rush around so much trying to DO that we forget, no, we won't ALLOW ourselves to stop for anything. Not our food, not our sleep, not our health, not our kids, and certainly not for a flower. Have you ever not taken a break just to go use the bathroom because you were urgently trying to finish something? How bad is it when we can't even stop to use the toilet??

Maybe you do take care of yourself. Maybe you do use the restroom, eat good food, play with your kids and smell the roses.

Do you stop to smell the Milkweed??

As hard as it may seem sometimes to stop for the things we know are really great (the smell of roses), it may seem crazy to think we should stop to check out things that at first glance don't look so hot (a milkweed).

For those of you who don't know, a milkweed is, well, a weed. It's a wild plant that in it's common form is found in the northeastern and north central areas of the U.S. and adjacent areas of Canada. It's called the milkweed because if broken it leaks a sap that looks like milk.
It can grow to between 4 to 6 feet tall. It is poisonous.

At first glance (and with no help from it's name) the milkweed is nothing special. If you found it in your yard or garden you would probably pluck it out. But if you looked closer you'd find an extraordinary plant. It may not have the conventional beauty of a rose, but it has it's own beauty and a whole host of surprises awaiting anyone willing to stop and smell the milkweed.

• The milkweed has over 140 known species and it's flowers range from white to orange and a wide spectrum of pinks.
• It's filaments (that carry the seeds once the milkweed pods open) have been used as insulation and some say are better than down feathers.
• The milkweed sap is a natural remedy for warts and poison ivy.
• Milkweed nectar was used as a natural sweetener by Native Americans and Voyageurs
• The Genus for milkweed, Asclepius, is named after the Greek god of healing, because of the many folk-medicinal uses for the milkweed plants.
• Milkweed plants and nectar are beneficial for many insects, including bees and the most well known milkweed feeding insect - the Monarch Butterfly.

When you do slow down in life, don't just stop for the beautiful things, the things that everyone else says you should enjoy, stop for the unusual, the different, the undervalued, the seemingly insignificant. Because the best part about taking the time to stop and check out something that we overlook and undervalue, the weed, is that...

...the flowers smell better than roses!

Your View, My View

I posted this awhile ago on a blog for my e-course, Awaken to Joy, around the subject of Communication. Laura and I are discussing this topic on our Awaken to Joy radio show today. Enjoy!

Your View, My View

It's important to remember that in every situation there really isn't a truth or reality, it is only your perception or view or evaluation of what is happening. Even so-called objective bystanders are only speaking from their viewpoint.
In any given situation one person may feel angry, indignant, laughed at or criticized. While the other person may be feeling the exact opposite! So which one is right? Is there a right?
Try watching a conversation between two people and see if you can observe without taking sides or forming your own opinion. Notice how each person has their own viewpoint and it becomes their own reality. Then can you do it in a conversation you are participating in?

Things I know to be True

No one else is looking.

Everyone else is just as afraid as you are, it just may be of something else.

Happiness is possible.

Ice is cold, fire is hot.

We have nothing to fear but fear itself.

3 year olds do everything opposite on purpose.

Everyone does want to have meaningful work.

The larger the company the more inefficient and ineffective it becomes.

There is a reason for everything.

It is always darkest before the dawn.

We all just want to be loved.

Leisure

I recently participated in a great visualization exercise. This is the second time I've done it, although it was slightly different than the first. The essence of the exercise is to imagine yourself 5 years into the future, living your dream life. You picture yourself living in the house of your dreams or the in the city you've always wanted to live in. You imagine your day - how and where you wake up, what you eat for breakfast, who you spend your day with and what you do for work (or not, as the case may be).

The first time I did this, I was then asked to imagine 4 years, then 3 years, then 2 and so on discovering the point at which I couldn't "see" the dream anymore. When does it feel like it's no longer possible? When does my mind start to say, "no, I'm not ready yet" or "that just isn't possible"? A very telling experience in itself.

Yesterday was a little different and equally as telling. We went to the 5 year place and as I imagined my dream life I was to think about how I felt about different areas, say work, home or family. I had a before and after for a little bit of comparison and what struck me as being most different was my sense of leisure in my dream life. It was peaceful, deliberate, purposeful. It wasn't rushed, frantic, panicked or hurried. In a word, leisurely.

In our lives we so often think that things will be better when. When I get a different job, I'll make more money. When I find the perfect spouse I won't be lonely. When things slow down I'll spend more time with my kids. Well, I have good news and bad news. The bad news is WHEN is never going to happen. The good news is, WHEN is NOW. And some things you can literally change right this instant just by changing your attitude.

For me, leisure has felt like something I'll get when. When the work season is over. When I finish this project. When the house is clean. blah, blah, blah. That's my old story. New story: I can do everything with this feeling of leisure I apparently covet so much in my dreams.

For today I'm going to take a deep breath before I start my car, turn on my computer, get dressed, brush my teeth, speak to my kids. Today I'm going to purposefully move a little bit slower. Today I'm going to talk a little slower, eat a little slower, drive a little slower. Leisure is the theme of the day. I might even go put on a leisure suit to celebrate. Well, maybe not.

Breakfast Smoothie Recipe

Many of my family, friends and students know that I have a smoothie every morning for breakfast. I am a huge advocate of eating breakfast and since changing my morning bowl of cereal to this smoothie I find I have more energy, energy for longer and don't get hungry as soon. In fact, this morning I didn't have it and I found myself hungry at 10am and wanting to take a nap. That's how I used to feel all the time.

Now, I am not a nutritionist (yet!) and I do want to give full credit to someone who is. This recipe is taken from The Fat Flush Plan, written by Ann Louise Gittleman, Ph.D., C.N.S. Don't let the title fool you, it's really more of a cleanse or detox than your average diet. It does have the benefit of losing weight for many people. It's not something I do consistently but something I do parts of or, when I feel like I need to cleanse, do for several weeks. She is a (holistic)nutrition specialist and if nothing else, read the first few chapters to learn how our bodies get out of balance and why these ingredients are so important. I'll try to summarize where I can, but for more in depth info check out the book.

For those of you in the Minneapolis metro area, I've also figured out an approximate cost and calories per serving (this may vary depending on prices where you live, keep reading for some cost saving tips* too). I know some of the ingredients are costly when you buy them all at once, but each smoothie is cheaper than a medium latte at Starbucks (and a whole lot healthier).

2 oz. of pure (100%) cranberry juice [$1.25 per serv/25 cal] - for liver/kidney health
6 oz. of water (0/0)
1 Tablespoon of Omega-3 oil (flaxseed oil preferred, I use Udo's brand) [$.71 per serv/120 cal] - for "good" fat/essential oil/brain health
1 cup of fruit (I use frozen strawberries and blueberries most often, can also use raspberries, mango or cherries) [strawberries: $.75 per serv/50 cal]
1 banana (optional) [$.20 per serv/80 cal]
1 Tablespoon of ground flax seed [$.03 per serv/30 cal] - for fiber
1 packet of Stevia (an all natural sweetener from the Stevia plant, comes in individual packets) [.12 per serv/0 cal] - is also a source of fiber
1 serving of whey protein powder (I get Whey Factors brand and love the taste- be careful what you get here, some are not that great tasting) [$.86 per serv/80 cal]

Mix all ingredients in a blender, pour and drink. Enjoy!

*The biggest cost items are the oil, protein powder and fruit.
I based price of the oil and protien powder on the brand that I buy, which I get at Lakewinds Co-op. You may find cheaper alternatives that still fit your taste, or the price may be different based on where you shop.
Cranberry juice is probably the most expensive ingredient. You can buy frozen cranberries (about $7 for 20 oz.) and cook them with (4 c. water to 12 oz. berries) then strain to get 32 oz of juice or 16 days worth (26 cents per serving vs. 1.25 per serving for pre-made juice)
Fruit varies greatly in price. I based price here on a 4 lb. bag of Cub brand strawberries. I have found 6 lb. bags at Costco for the same price (25 cents cheaper per serv). During strawberry season I go to local farms and buy strawberries to freeze myself and that cost is considerably lower. I buy blueberries during that season at a low cost as well.