Fear of the unknown. Isn't that really at the root of most fears? I mean, that's the entire future of everything! Unknown, that is. It's called worry and it has to do with concern for anything that hasn't happened yet. Or really the imagined future. What if... this and what if... that. What if, indeed.
Does this fear hold you back? Are you not doing something because of a fear? Do you worry too much? Then you need a Moving Through Fear guide book. I haven't written it yet, but I imagine it would look something like this.
Chapter 1. Fear is everywhere. You could be afraid of everything. Anything can kill you at anytime without warning. Get over it.
Chapter 2. If you succumb to your fears you will not do anything. You will live a boring life. In fact it's pretty much impossible to not do anything. Most people probably couldn't if they tried. Lie on the floor all day. Is that what you really want?
Chapter 3. Decide which fears you can live with and which you can't. Do you really need to be around snakes? Can you avoid living where earthquakes happen? Who said you need to jump out of an airplane? Eating food and exercising - yes. Going out in public - probably. Speaking in public - maybe. Using public restrooms - optional. Pick your battles.
Chapter 4. Worrying doesn't change anything. It's a waste of time. Especially if it's over and done with (yes, I know people who worry about things that have already happened!) You may think you can't help yourself. You can. Trust me, waste of time. You have better things to do.
Chapter 5. Fear just keeps you small and limited. You were meant for bigger and better things. You want bigger and better, right? Or would you be willing to admit you want small and insignificant?
Chapter 6. Fear makes you do things you normally wouldn't do. Think about animals. When in fear, say cornered, they will bite, scratch, attack, maim, kill their own babies, push others off a ledge, gnaw their own leg off. Oh wait, I guess humans do that too. I think you can find a better way than gnawing your leg off, don't you?
Chapter 7. There is no such thing as NO FEAR, despite the brand name to the contrary. Without fear you would be paralyzed. So, just to be clear -you can live without worry, you can't live without fear.
Chapter 8. Now that you know you can't get rid of it altogether, figure out a way to move beyond it, through it, past it. It's called Courage. The people who have lived through the most fear have the most courage.
Chapter 9. In order to move through fear, find something more important than the fear. Your friends, your family, your children. How about yourself? YOUR livelihood. YOUR well-being. YOUR sanity. YOUR happiness. Isn't THAT worth it?
Chapter 10. Now, get out there and GO!
Showing posts with label Awaken to Joy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Awaken to Joy. Show all posts
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
FEAR
In the Awaken to Joy program, our topic for the month is Fear (and Unmet Needs). I've been thinking about Fear a lot this year, partly because I've set my theme for the year to be Personal Power.
Creating Personal Power has a little to do with getting beyond Fear. One of the things I'm doing is actively seeking out things that push me out of my comfort zone. I didn't realize how challenging that would prove to be.
First, I have to find these things. Great discussions have ensued. Challenges have been suggested. Lists have been made. I've determined that this means I have to find things that, A. Do make me a little fearful, B. Are things that I am, in fact, remotely interested in, and C. Things that are feasible, for the most part.
For example, sky diving is something I am somewhat afraid of. Maybe I would do it, yet I've also determined it is something I am not the least bit interested in. It would probably cost more than I'm willing to pay. If I die 60 years from now without ever having gone sky diving, I will still die contented. I'm not sure sky diving would support my growth, nor am I sure it would bring me strength and power.
One of the things on my list is to skate in an Inline Skating Marathon in September. Inline skating is something I used to do a lot. Since having kids I haven't done it very much. I exercise very frequently, but to do a marathon I'd have to increase my strength and stamina plus get reacquainted with my skates. It won't cost me that much and it is something I'm a little nervous about doing. Check, check, check.
Most of us avoid things we are fearful of. Like the plague. Or sky diving. This is a good thing. For the most part. Yet, sometimes it is good to examine our fears and determine if they really are necessary. Fear is a learned behavior. Fear is a learned emotion. Often times something happened to condition us to fear. Or everyone else does it so we do too. Like snakes. Why does everyone hate snakes?
Do you really know what you are afraid of? Do you know why? Can you break free from the bonds of your own Fear? For me, Personal Power is about building the strength, internal and external, to handle anything that comes my way. To realize my fears and determine their validity. To dismiss them as unwarranted or decide I'm going to keep moving anyway. I want to be fearless. There is no joy in hiding anymore.
Creating Personal Power has a little to do with getting beyond Fear. One of the things I'm doing is actively seeking out things that push me out of my comfort zone. I didn't realize how challenging that would prove to be.
First, I have to find these things. Great discussions have ensued. Challenges have been suggested. Lists have been made. I've determined that this means I have to find things that, A. Do make me a little fearful, B. Are things that I am, in fact, remotely interested in, and C. Things that are feasible, for the most part.
For example, sky diving is something I am somewhat afraid of. Maybe I would do it, yet I've also determined it is something I am not the least bit interested in. It would probably cost more than I'm willing to pay. If I die 60 years from now without ever having gone sky diving, I will still die contented. I'm not sure sky diving would support my growth, nor am I sure it would bring me strength and power.
One of the things on my list is to skate in an Inline Skating Marathon in September. Inline skating is something I used to do a lot. Since having kids I haven't done it very much. I exercise very frequently, but to do a marathon I'd have to increase my strength and stamina plus get reacquainted with my skates. It won't cost me that much and it is something I'm a little nervous about doing. Check, check, check.
Most of us avoid things we are fearful of. Like the plague. Or sky diving. This is a good thing. For the most part. Yet, sometimes it is good to examine our fears and determine if they really are necessary. Fear is a learned behavior. Fear is a learned emotion. Often times something happened to condition us to fear. Or everyone else does it so we do too. Like snakes. Why does everyone hate snakes?
Do you really know what you are afraid of? Do you know why? Can you break free from the bonds of your own Fear? For me, Personal Power is about building the strength, internal and external, to handle anything that comes my way. To realize my fears and determine their validity. To dismiss them as unwarranted or decide I'm going to keep moving anyway. I want to be fearless. There is no joy in hiding anymore.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Rise Above
"We truly believe you can rise up above anger. That is not to say we rise up above all of our anger. We are still human and, as such, anger will appear. But with a higher consciousness, we are able to see more perspectives; we understand more, therefore we are able to choose different avenues than anger. After all, traffic is merely a whole bunch of cars going the same direction you are; a slow line at the grocery store is just other people who are also buying groceries for their families; and children make mistakes all the time, as do we all. "
Today, at least for today, think of yourself as a better person. The kind of person who can put yourself in another person's shoes and imagine what they must be going through. Right now, in this world, there are a lot of people who are hurting. They are hurting because they are afraid. They are hurting because they are hungry. They are hurting because they are confused and don't know what will happen next. Take stock of your life and be grateful for everything you do have. Step away from your pride and ego and let yourself be the calm one or the compassionate one. Be the one that helps another human being simply because you can.
Humans have a tremendous ability to rush to the aid of others in traumatic situations- a baby in a well, hurricane victims, cancer patients, plane crashes. Yet if we don't visibly see the source of suffering we allow ourselves to get irritated if people don't act the way we want them to. Enough is enough. Just for today reach out to someone, ANY ONE. Be a better person than you normally are.
Today, at least for today, think of yourself as a better person. The kind of person who can put yourself in another person's shoes and imagine what they must be going through. Right now, in this world, there are a lot of people who are hurting. They are hurting because they are afraid. They are hurting because they are hungry. They are hurting because they are confused and don't know what will happen next. Take stock of your life and be grateful for everything you do have. Step away from your pride and ego and let yourself be the calm one or the compassionate one. Be the one that helps another human being simply because you can.
Humans have a tremendous ability to rush to the aid of others in traumatic situations- a baby in a well, hurricane victims, cancer patients, plane crashes. Yet if we don't visibly see the source of suffering we allow ourselves to get irritated if people don't act the way we want them to. Enough is enough. Just for today reach out to someone, ANY ONE. Be a better person than you normally are.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Detox
"But the spiritual journey, the path of recovery and personal growth, is a detoxification process in which we bring up and out the negative beliefs we have carried with us from the past and that now poison the present."
- Marianne Williamson
- Marianne Williamson
Like my anger?
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Anger
Don't be misled. I'm not angry. At least not right now. There was a time when I wasn't angry. Then there was a time when I wasn't angry and didn't show it. That was a long time. That's not to say that I was angry all the time. It's just that I just didn't get angry enough or loud enough in my anger. The problem is, as with anything, if you stifle it long enough it's bound to blow.
Then one day I woke up and I was angry. Really angry. Except I didn't even know I was angry. I just became what I felt was "violent". Please don't be misled. I didn't beat my husband or my children. I didn't throw things (unless you count pillows). And I didn't hurt myself. But I did see a rage I had never seen before in myself. I yelled. A lot. I'm almost embarrassed to say how much I yelled. I yelled at strangers on the phone. I yelled at my kids. And I swore. A lot.
Then one day I realized that I was angry. Great. Now what? Angry at what? Circumstances forced this anger to the surface and I got to really experience some raw anger. I was angry that I didn't have help. I was angry that I didn't ask for help. I was angry that I couldn't give my kids more of my energy. I was angry for having to be their everything - maid, servant, housekeeper, chef, chauffeur, personal hygienist, stylist. I was angry at being pregnant when I didn't want to be. I was angry at my body not being able to do what I wanted it to do, what it used to do. I was angry at being alone. I was angry at being alone and not being able to be angry at anyone else for it. I was angry at how women get treated. I was angry at and about everything.
Once I figured out that I was angry and what I was angry about, I let myself just be angry. Just be. I just made sure I didn't hurt anyone (at least physically) and I just went with it. Eventually I tired of it. I wore it out. I ran it and ran it and ran it until it was just out of breathe. Yelling felt old and useless. Swearing just seemed ineffective. I was starting to be done. It was good and it was done.
Now anger is one of the spectrum of emotions I feel. Part of my repertoire, a flavor I taste sometimes when the meal and moment is in need. I explored anger. I've determined when it's really anger and when it's merely irritation, or frustration or annoyance. There's a path to anger. Sometimes there are signs that appear and I try to remember that they lead to anger. Then I can remember that I don't have to go there. I might if the time and the situation calls for it. But then again, I might not.
Then one day I woke up and I was angry. Really angry. Except I didn't even know I was angry. I just became what I felt was "violent". Please don't be misled. I didn't beat my husband or my children. I didn't throw things (unless you count pillows). And I didn't hurt myself. But I did see a rage I had never seen before in myself. I yelled. A lot. I'm almost embarrassed to say how much I yelled. I yelled at strangers on the phone. I yelled at my kids. And I swore. A lot.
Then one day I realized that I was angry. Great. Now what? Angry at what? Circumstances forced this anger to the surface and I got to really experience some raw anger. I was angry that I didn't have help. I was angry that I didn't ask for help. I was angry that I couldn't give my kids more of my energy. I was angry for having to be their everything - maid, servant, housekeeper, chef, chauffeur, personal hygienist, stylist. I was angry at being pregnant when I didn't want to be. I was angry at my body not being able to do what I wanted it to do, what it used to do. I was angry at being alone. I was angry at being alone and not being able to be angry at anyone else for it. I was angry at how women get treated. I was angry at and about everything.
Once I figured out that I was angry and what I was angry about, I let myself just be angry. Just be. I just made sure I didn't hurt anyone (at least physically) and I just went with it. Eventually I tired of it. I wore it out. I ran it and ran it and ran it until it was just out of breathe. Yelling felt old and useless. Swearing just seemed ineffective. I was starting to be done. It was good and it was done.
Now anger is one of the spectrum of emotions I feel. Part of my repertoire, a flavor I taste sometimes when the meal and moment is in need. I explored anger. I've determined when it's really anger and when it's merely irritation, or frustration or annoyance. There's a path to anger. Sometimes there are signs that appear and I try to remember that they lead to anger. Then I can remember that I don't have to go there. I might if the time and the situation calls for it. But then again, I might not.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Hello, my name is...
Hello, my name is Marya and I'm a sugar addict. Disclaimer: I don't mean any harm or disservice to those suffering from addictions of drugs or alcohol. I realize that many would not even think of sugar as an addiction, but people can be so-called addicted to food, right? It just so happens that I think sugar is a rather insidious food product and truly does create an addictive cycle in the body and, at least in me, addictive type behavior. But I realize it is not like tobacco or heroin.
So, I have a friend who decided to go on the Fat Flush Plan. It sounds like some fad diet, and it's goal in part is to help you lose weight, but it's also a bit of a detox plan as well. It's not called FLUSH for nothin', ya know. It's spring, I ate pretty crappy this winter (hello - Girl Scout Cookies???) and I figured it would be nice to lose a couple of pounds before swimsuit season. Not coincidentally this falls during the month of Eating for the Living Compassionately program. We're studying how food and eating affect how we feel and how we treat others.
So here I am on this plan. I buy the book, read and kind of prep myself. Except my version of "prepping" is to pay really close attention to all the things I'm eating that I won't eat on the plan. The 1st 2 weeks are pretty intense and you cut out all foods that tend to elicit sensitivities or allergic reactions (dairy, wheat, SUGAR, etc.) Which pretty much means any carb that doesn't come from a non starchy vegetable (no potatoes even). Just lots of water, protein and veggies and fruits.
So I'm at Target and I buy a HEATH bar. Haven't bought one in probably 10 years but in the checkout had this thought: "might as well, won't be able to eat THIS after tomorrow." What the heck is that? Talk about rationalizing! Did the same with scones and cereal. It was then I realized my addictive behavior:
Wake up - eat! gotta have my cereal!!!
Coffee, with cream (what no sugar??)
mid-morning snack - scone, muffin, bagel, toast, anything with carbs and sugar
Lunch - whatever the kids don't eat
after lunch - "I just need a bite of something sweet - anything!"
Scrounge through kids treat bag for year old, previously melted Kit-Kat, eat it then decide it was really horrible and not worth it.
mid-afternoon snack - see morning snack
Dinner - nice well balanced meal
before bed snack - cereal.
It was the first thing I did when I woke up. The last thing I did before going to bed. Between every meal and that nagging, gotta have a bite thing, after even the decent meals I ate. Let's just say, the first day of Fat Flush was hell and by the end of the day my head was throbbing and I was super crabby. Sounds like withdrawal to me?
So, I have a friend who decided to go on the Fat Flush Plan. It sounds like some fad diet, and it's goal in part is to help you lose weight, but it's also a bit of a detox plan as well. It's not called FLUSH for nothin', ya know. It's spring, I ate pretty crappy this winter (hello - Girl Scout Cookies???) and I figured it would be nice to lose a couple of pounds before swimsuit season. Not coincidentally this falls during the month of Eating for the Living Compassionately program. We're studying how food and eating affect how we feel and how we treat others.
So here I am on this plan. I buy the book, read and kind of prep myself. Except my version of "prepping" is to pay really close attention to all the things I'm eating that I won't eat on the plan. The 1st 2 weeks are pretty intense and you cut out all foods that tend to elicit sensitivities or allergic reactions (dairy, wheat, SUGAR, etc.) Which pretty much means any carb that doesn't come from a non starchy vegetable (no potatoes even). Just lots of water, protein and veggies and fruits.
So I'm at Target and I buy a HEATH bar. Haven't bought one in probably 10 years but in the checkout had this thought: "might as well, won't be able to eat THIS after tomorrow." What the heck is that? Talk about rationalizing! Did the same with scones and cereal. It was then I realized my addictive behavior:
Wake up - eat! gotta have my cereal!!!
Coffee, with cream (what no sugar??)
mid-morning snack - scone, muffin, bagel, toast, anything with carbs and sugar
Lunch - whatever the kids don't eat
after lunch - "I just need a bite of something sweet - anything!"
Scrounge through kids treat bag for year old, previously melted Kit-Kat, eat it then decide it was really horrible and not worth it.
mid-afternoon snack - see morning snack
Dinner - nice well balanced meal
before bed snack - cereal.
It was the first thing I did when I woke up. The last thing I did before going to bed. Between every meal and that nagging, gotta have a bite thing, after even the decent meals I ate. Let's just say, the first day of Fat Flush was hell and by the end of the day my head was throbbing and I was super crabby. Sounds like withdrawal to me?
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Yummy stuff
I've finally started adding some recipes to grouprecipes.com (look over to the right for a list of some of my recipes). I love food - growing it, shopping for it, cooking it, eating it. Have I mentioned that before? I want to share some of my favorites so check out grouprecipes for my favorites and favorites of my friends.
Even though I love food it doesn't mean I eat everything. I am foodie, or maybe what some would call a food snob. I'm not a picky eater, because frankly I love many things. I just am very choosy. I have distinct likes and dislikes. For example, I've never eaten a Big Mac from McDonalds or Hamburger Helper in my entire life. I do not like mayonnaise or yellow mustard. Sometimes at neighborhood gatherings I bring items that most people have never heard of. I only eat real butter, unsalted please. I think capers are good on most anything. My favorite dessert is Tiramisu, made from scratch with Marsala and Rum. I could write a whole manifesto on my food tastes.
Over the last several years I've become more tuned in to how food makes me feel as well. Like the time I ate at Burger King and it kept me up all night with gut-wrenching pain. Or there is a certain brand of sparkling water that I can't drink because it never seems to stop sparkling inside of me. Many of us have cravings at certain times of the month (salt for me - make it Sea salt, please). I've known for many years that if I eat too much refined sugar (white flour, cookies, candy, etc.) that I develop headaches.
Have you ever noticed how food makes you feel? Our program, Living Compassionately, is exploring eating and food next month and I've got food on the brain. I used to think just my cravings drove my eating but now that I've paid more attention to it, I realize my moods do too. And not always to my benefit. When I'm tired from too little sleep I get too impatient and lazy to take the time to eat well. I grab convenience foods that are usually not healthy. It makes me feel even worse and creates a cycle of ickiness. Sometimes all it takes is one really good meal (Minestrone?) to make me feel better right away.
Are you a better, nicer person because of how you eat? Does your eating (or not eating, as the case may be) create bad moods or good moods? Want to join me in exploring your relationship to food and eating and how it makes you feel? Did you ever think that how you ate could affect how you treat other people? Make May your "eat better to be nicer" month. Bon Appetit!
Even though I love food it doesn't mean I eat everything. I am foodie, or maybe what some would call a food snob. I'm not a picky eater, because frankly I love many things. I just am very choosy. I have distinct likes and dislikes. For example, I've never eaten a Big Mac from McDonalds or Hamburger Helper in my entire life. I do not like mayonnaise or yellow mustard. Sometimes at neighborhood gatherings I bring items that most people have never heard of. I only eat real butter, unsalted please. I think capers are good on most anything. My favorite dessert is Tiramisu, made from scratch with Marsala and Rum. I could write a whole manifesto on my food tastes.
Over the last several years I've become more tuned in to how food makes me feel as well. Like the time I ate at Burger King and it kept me up all night with gut-wrenching pain. Or there is a certain brand of sparkling water that I can't drink because it never seems to stop sparkling inside of me. Many of us have cravings at certain times of the month (salt for me - make it Sea salt, please). I've known for many years that if I eat too much refined sugar (white flour, cookies, candy, etc.) that I develop headaches.
Have you ever noticed how food makes you feel? Our program, Living Compassionately, is exploring eating and food next month and I've got food on the brain. I used to think just my cravings drove my eating but now that I've paid more attention to it, I realize my moods do too. And not always to my benefit. When I'm tired from too little sleep I get too impatient and lazy to take the time to eat well. I grab convenience foods that are usually not healthy. It makes me feel even worse and creates a cycle of ickiness. Sometimes all it takes is one really good meal (Minestrone?) to make me feel better right away.
Are you a better, nicer person because of how you eat? Does your eating (or not eating, as the case may be) create bad moods or good moods? Want to join me in exploring your relationship to food and eating and how it makes you feel? Did you ever think that how you ate could affect how you treat other people? Make May your "eat better to be nicer" month. Bon Appetit!
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
'Tis the Season
For too much TV. I hate to admit it because 80% of the time it's not like this, but right now my kids are watching what I would deem 'too much TV'.
I don't normally watch a lot of TV. Not that I'm against TV in general or have it banned around here or anything. There are several reasons I don't watch much:
1. I have 3 kids, when do I ever get to sit down and watch what I want?
2. I have a husband who has a secret remote control magnet in his hand. Even if I were to sit and watch TV, if he comes into the room the remote gets sucked away from me into said hand.
3. The news (and many other related shows) are too depressing or sad for me. As I've learned through being a part of the program A Year of Living Compassionately (which incidentally is focusing on Media for March), watching things that make me sad only feed into many of my fears and cause me to obsess and dwell and spiral down into a black hole of ick. no thanks.
4. I live in Minnesota. We only really get good outside weather for maybe half the year. I do NOT want to spend that precious time inside watching TV.
Which leads me to know. It's February. It's freakin' cold! (-12 with a wind chill of -30 anyone?) It's bland and gloomy. I've spent waaaayy to much time alone with my kids and now they're all finding Blues Clues just a little too entertaining. It seems all activities last about 10 minutes before they get bored with them. Then it's either torment the dog time or play roller coaster with the baby's ride-on toy. Or "What can I do now MOM?"
And did I mention I have a 1 1/2 year old? Otherwise I probably would take the boys sledding or tubing or some such winter activity on the not so cold-as-hell days. It's hard enough getting her dressed at all, never mind that she refuses to wear a hat or mittens. I really don't know - is it easier to stay in or not?
So far this week we've seen the aforementioned Blue Clues, plus Wow Wow Wubzy, SpongeBob SquarePants, The Fairly Oddparents, Dinosaur King, Ni Hao Kai Lan (Chinese version of Dora?) and of course waaaayy too much Dora the Explora, I mean Explorer. There's also DVD's of Shark Week and the Godzilla collection. Frankly I'm tired of all this too. I'm really lamenting the boy's self made decision to not have computer privileges this week (as a result of a fist fight that erupted when the 10 minutes of playing with the train set was over).
Any suggestions?
I don't normally watch a lot of TV. Not that I'm against TV in general or have it banned around here or anything. There are several reasons I don't watch much:
1. I have 3 kids, when do I ever get to sit down and watch what I want?
2. I have a husband who has a secret remote control magnet in his hand. Even if I were to sit and watch TV, if he comes into the room the remote gets sucked away from me into said hand.
3. The news (and many other related shows) are too depressing or sad for me. As I've learned through being a part of the program A Year of Living Compassionately (which incidentally is focusing on Media for March), watching things that make me sad only feed into many of my fears and cause me to obsess and dwell and spiral down into a black hole of ick. no thanks.
4. I live in Minnesota. We only really get good outside weather for maybe half the year. I do NOT want to spend that precious time inside watching TV.
Which leads me to know. It's February. It's freakin' cold! (-12 with a wind chill of -30 anyone?) It's bland and gloomy. I've spent waaaayy to much time alone with my kids and now they're all finding Blues Clues just a little too entertaining. It seems all activities last about 10 minutes before they get bored with them. Then it's either torment the dog time or play roller coaster with the baby's ride-on toy. Or "What can I do now MOM?"
And did I mention I have a 1 1/2 year old? Otherwise I probably would take the boys sledding or tubing or some such winter activity on the not so cold-as-hell days. It's hard enough getting her dressed at all, never mind that she refuses to wear a hat or mittens. I really don't know - is it easier to stay in or not?
So far this week we've seen the aforementioned Blue Clues, plus Wow Wow Wubzy, SpongeBob SquarePants, The Fairly Oddparents, Dinosaur King, Ni Hao Kai Lan (Chinese version of Dora?) and of course waaaayy too much Dora the Explora, I mean Explorer. There's also DVD's of Shark Week and the Godzilla collection. Frankly I'm tired of all this too. I'm really lamenting the boy's self made decision to not have computer privileges this week (as a result of a fist fight that erupted when the 10 minutes of playing with the train set was over).
Any suggestions?
Saturday, January 5, 2008
People are strange only if you act like a stranger
25 days of my favorite things - #7
I entered the store just watching people and smiling. There was the Rip Taylor look alike with shorter hair and a fancy fanny pack (yes, people still wear them). In the produce section there was the older lady with grey curly hair wearing a leather Pink Ladies jacket (brings me back to my days of Grease 2 obsession). There was the older tall lady wearing a luxurious coat (I only saw her going away down the aisle). And the younger couple- she was about 7-8 months pregnant – and the woman who looks like I normally do at the grocery store, with tired eyes and a frantic get-me-out-of-here-now! look towing 3 young children who are bouncing around the aisle oblivious to their mom’s fatigue. Fascinating to watch. Yet I love it all! Sometimes if you are not in a hurry and distracted by your own life you can really appreciate people, strangers and all.
Friday, December 14, 2007
Friends are Family - Part II
25 days of my Favorite Things - #4
I do have other friends besides my neighbors, I'd like to sing their praises now. First, there is my yoga advanced teacher training group, AKA, my therapy group. The most amazing, wonderful, helpful, non-judgmental people I have ever met. For the last 2 years we have met at least once a month (and often much more) to study and learn more about all facets of Yoga. In the process we've been through 2 births, several deaths, a move, many family dramas, and started a new company. They have changed my life for the better.
Then, I have friends from various other places - my best friend from college, friends from old workplaces, friends through yoga and preschool. The people who I don't get to see as often as I'd like, but when I do it's as if we just saw each other yesterday.
Like SE. Last Sunday I took my kids to the mall to see Santa. For 5 hours. After one look at the mile long line we went to have lunch. After that my husband left to go out of town and we were left to fend for ourselves. On the way back to Santa we ran into SE. After a big - haven't-seen-you-in-over-a-year hug, she exclaimed "I'm having the worst day!" She had also been there since the mall opened but after 45 minutes in line with Santa and one toddler head smack to the floor she went home. After dropping the toddler off for nap she came back only to find that Santa was going on break in 30 minutes and they weren't letting anyone in line.
To make a long story short, we spent the afternoon together and finally did get to see Santa. Both of us admitted we wouldn't have stayed had it not been for the other. And it turned out to be a pretty great day.
God loves a friend, especially when they turn up in the most unexpected places for the most necessary of reasons.
I do have other friends besides my neighbors, I'd like to sing their praises now. First, there is my yoga advanced teacher training group, AKA, my therapy group. The most amazing, wonderful, helpful, non-judgmental people I have ever met. For the last 2 years we have met at least once a month (and often much more) to study and learn more about all facets of Yoga. In the process we've been through 2 births, several deaths, a move, many family dramas, and started a new company. They have changed my life for the better.
Then, I have friends from various other places - my best friend from college, friends from old workplaces, friends through yoga and preschool. The people who I don't get to see as often as I'd like, but when I do it's as if we just saw each other yesterday.
Like SE. Last Sunday I took my kids to the mall to see Santa. For 5 hours. After one look at the mile long line we went to have lunch. After that my husband left to go out of town and we were left to fend for ourselves. On the way back to Santa we ran into SE. After a big - haven't-seen-you-in-over-a-year hug, she exclaimed "I'm having the worst day!" She had also been there since the mall opened but after 45 minutes in line with Santa and one toddler head smack to the floor she went home. After dropping the toddler off for nap she came back only to find that Santa was going on break in 30 minutes and they weren't letting anyone in line.
To make a long story short, we spent the afternoon together and finally did get to see Santa. Both of us admitted we wouldn't have stayed had it not been for the other. And it turned out to be a pretty great day.
God loves a friend, especially when they turn up in the most unexpected places for the most necessary of reasons.
Monday, December 10, 2007
Friends are family - part I
25 days of my favorite things - #3
Not to discount my family, but right now so many of my friends and neighbors are my family. Many of my family live some distance away and even the ones we love we don't see often enough. I am lucky enough - knowing that I chose this place and these people, I still consider myself lucky and fortunate - to live in the best neighborhood in the world. My best friend since 1st grade lives 6 houses away and next to her is also someone who grew up in my hometown. I spend New Year's, 4th of July and many other holidays with my neighbors and we all have our "annual events" - the Weird Beer Party, Halloween Party, the Rocket party, camping, the softball team and the scrapbook group.
They are the people I call if my husband's out of town and I'm pregnant and sick with the flu and I just need to sleep - they take my kids for the day. They are the people I call if I promised my kids we'd make cookies that look like pizza and I just need 1 egg and my husband scrambled the last of the eggs yesterday. They are the people I call if I forgot to return the movie to the library and "hey - are you going into town today?". They are the people who call me when their daughter awakens at 1am with febrile seizures. We bring gifts and dinners to the new parents bringing home the newborn from the hospital - or Korea or Vietnam. And then we all call each other when one us finds a lump in her breast while feeding the 6 month old (he is now almost 5 and mom is doing great). I am eternally grateful for these people - my friends.
Not to discount my family, but right now so many of my friends and neighbors are my family. Many of my family live some distance away and even the ones we love we don't see often enough. I am lucky enough - knowing that I chose this place and these people, I still consider myself lucky and fortunate - to live in the best neighborhood in the world. My best friend since 1st grade lives 6 houses away and next to her is also someone who grew up in my hometown. I spend New Year's, 4th of July and many other holidays with my neighbors and we all have our "annual events" - the Weird Beer Party, Halloween Party, the Rocket party, camping, the softball team and the scrapbook group.
They are the people I call if my husband's out of town and I'm pregnant and sick with the flu and I just need to sleep - they take my kids for the day. They are the people I call if I promised my kids we'd make cookies that look like pizza and I just need 1 egg and my husband scrambled the last of the eggs yesterday. They are the people I call if I forgot to return the movie to the library and "hey - are you going into town today?". They are the people who call me when their daughter awakens at 1am with febrile seizures. We bring gifts and dinners to the new parents bringing home the newborn from the hospital - or Korea or Vietnam. And then we all call each other when one us finds a lump in her breast while feeding the 6 month old (he is now almost 5 and mom is doing great). I am eternally grateful for these people - my friends.
"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born." - Anais Nin
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
I always hate never
I generally avoid using words I like, to describe other words I don't like. Today I'll make an exception. I hate the word always. (I also hate the word hate but I'll save that for later). Always, and likewise the word Never, seem so confining. Isn't that funny? Words that in essence mean "at all times/forever" and "not ever" can seem confining to me. It only means one thing, and if you're saying it to me you'd better make darn sure you've got your forever and not ever straight.
My husband (yes, I'm on him again) was complaining a bit yesterday that there was food in the sink. We have a garbage disposal and we have 3 young kids. During any given meal I spend up to 2 hours straight in the kitchen (ugh, for one thing). During the course of this time I, at the very least, cut up some fruit for them, leaving the entrails behind. Or, um, I guess it would be skins, rinds and seeds. At the very most, I cook a meal involving vegetable scraps, meat carcasses, potato and carrot peelings, cheese rinds, and the aforementioned fruit entrails. I may also take advantage of my kids sitting still and the baby being contained to clean out the fridge, thereby dumping out the year-old, half-opened jar of sauerkraut my husband insisted on getting to make Ruebens that didn't happen. Lots of stuff in the sink. Now, back to his complaint. Because so much happens during this time such as yelling and barking at me to "I need more milk, mom!", etc., that I let the scraps sit in the sink until I have determined that I have no more scraps to give the disposal and then I grind it up all it once.
My husband takes offense to this. He hates seeing food in the sink. It stains the (white) sink. It creates fruit flies (where exactly do they come from?). And so his comment was "There's ALWAYS food in the sink!" To that I said, "ALWAYS? As in every single time without fail? 24/7?" The reply came back "Every night for the last 2 weeks there's been food in the sink." (I'm going to assume that probably isn't the case either).
My point is, if ALWAYS means "at all times, forever", then I would guarantee there isn't ALWAYS food in our sink. Now I wouldn't say there's never food in the sink...
By the way, he did call later to apologize for "being a butt". Do you suppose I should get literal about that too?
My husband (yes, I'm on him again) was complaining a bit yesterday that there was food in the sink. We have a garbage disposal and we have 3 young kids. During any given meal I spend up to 2 hours straight in the kitchen (ugh, for one thing). During the course of this time I, at the very least, cut up some fruit for them, leaving the entrails behind. Or, um, I guess it would be skins, rinds and seeds. At the very most, I cook a meal involving vegetable scraps, meat carcasses, potato and carrot peelings, cheese rinds, and the aforementioned fruit entrails. I may also take advantage of my kids sitting still and the baby being contained to clean out the fridge, thereby dumping out the year-old, half-opened jar of sauerkraut my husband insisted on getting to make Ruebens that didn't happen. Lots of stuff in the sink. Now, back to his complaint. Because so much happens during this time such as yelling and barking at me to "I need more milk, mom!", etc., that I let the scraps sit in the sink until I have determined that I have no more scraps to give the disposal and then I grind it up all it once.
My husband takes offense to this. He hates seeing food in the sink. It stains the (white) sink. It creates fruit flies (where exactly do they come from?). And so his comment was "There's ALWAYS food in the sink!" To that I said, "ALWAYS? As in every single time without fail? 24/7?" The reply came back "Every night for the last 2 weeks there's been food in the sink." (I'm going to assume that probably isn't the case either).
My point is, if ALWAYS means "at all times, forever", then I would guarantee there isn't ALWAYS food in our sink. Now I wouldn't say there's never food in the sink...
By the way, he did call later to apologize for "being a butt". Do you suppose I should get literal about that too?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)