But then just when you think you've got things figured out, you get the proverbial monkey wrench. Mine is a baby girl named Eden. She's 21 months old, tall for her age and terribly coordinated. She's like my boys, X2. A month ago she finally realized that she had the ability to crawl out of her crib. Then to top it off she opened the door and let herself out.
She would be on the ceiling if her hands had suction cups. Since she doesn't she only makes it halfway up the wall.
Tonight, she went into her brothers' bathroom, shut the door and opened one of the drawers. It just so happened that the drawer was next to the door and essentially locked her into the room. And we couldn't pick the lock. So she happily ate toothpaste and chewed on her brothers' toothbrushes while sitting in the shower for the hour we tried, unsuccessfully, to get the door open. Finally, out of sheer randomness, she shut the drawer and came out. Oblivious. Thank God she didn't remember the joy of dropping things in the toilet.
So here is my own version of the e-mail. It goes something like this...
Things I've learned from my baby girl:
1. Goo gone gets pen off the television and permanent marker off the hardwood floor.
2. Too much bubble bath makes it hard to see the baby when she falls into the tub with her clothes on.
3. Babies prefer Cover Girl makeup.
4. It takes 5 washings with Dawn dish soap to get Cover Girl foundation makeup out of hair. (which, by the way, is scary – isn’t Dawn what they use to get OIL out of the fur and feathers of wild animals? How many washings does it take them?)
5. Sit 'n' Spins aren't that great unless you need to reach the counter top.
6. Long hair makes pretty knots.
5. Sit 'n' Spins aren't that great unless you need to reach the counter top.
If you wake up from your nap and are poopy, you can try to change yourself:
- Take out every diaper you can find
- Grab the box of wipes and pull out every single one.
- Don’t forget the powder
- Fall asleep on top of the pile of wipes on the floor.
2 comments:
Mer ... I had the "randomly closed the drawer" thing happen to me when I was babysitting some kid 26 years ago. I never told the parents but the next time I worked for them they had put those little drawer lock thingies in.
This one, finally; sounds just about like her father add a few trips to the emergency room after quickly injesting a bottle of aquarium fish tonic/fungus cure, and Scot's liquid gold furnature oil, and you've got it.
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