Hello, my name is Marya and I am selfish. There, I've admitted it.
That makes it sound so guilt-ridden, doesn't it? Well just let me clarify. I am selfish and I do not feel guilty.
So I just looked up selfish and selfish I'm not. (Selfish - \'sel-fish\adj : concerned with one's own welfare excessively or without regard for others.)
But you know what? I just don't like the definition. I'm going to make up a new one (is that selfish?) Selfish - \'sel-fish\adj : concerned with one's own welfare before attending to the welfare of others.
Here's what I mean. Do you know how on airplanes they give you emergency instructions and they tell you that if you are traveling with children how you should put on your own oxygen mask first and then put them on your children? Have you ever heard the phrase, "If Momma ain't happy, ain't no one happy?" That's what I'm talking about.
And it doesn't even have to be children. It could be friends, family, spouse or significant other. How many of you give and give and give until there's nothing left of you? How many of you sacrifice things you love just to give your time and energy to someone else? How many of you don't regularly pursue your own interests or have put them aside indefinitely because you "don't have the time anymore"?
What I want to know is, how you can you give anything you don't have? If you don't have time for yourself, how can you give time to another? If you don't have energy, how can you give energy for another? Most importantly, if you don't have love for yourself, how can you give love to another?
I'm getting verklempt. Here's your topic: You can't hold what you don't have in your hand and you can't give what you don't have. Discuss.
2 comments:
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Hi -- I just found your blog through Nona at Everyday Yogini.
I just finished a guest post about this very topic, called Who's Your Mama? It will be published on Seattle Mom Blogs in the next few weeks...
I have been learning, for five years, how to take care of myself first; indeed to give persmission to myself to take care of myself first.
In addition to sanity-saving time away from the kids to meditate and write (my husband spends most of the evenings with them), I have been taking many mini-breaks throughout the day. Simply reminding myself to relax my belly, breathe a few times.
We also have a mindfulness bell in a quiet corner that anyone can ring when they need a bit of peace or space. It really helps us all (me, my husband, and our 4 1/2 year old) to have something physical to do when we feel overwhelmed, exhausted, or angry. Plus, the bell is really beautiful sounding.
Okay, I better go before I write a novel here!
Glad I found you -- Also, if you're interested, I just starting a weekly gratitude practice on my blog if you'd like to join in. It happens every Wednesday.
Blessings,
Stacy
http://mama-om.blogspot.com
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