Time to sit down

It's time for meditation. For me at least. I don't know about you. Do you meditate in the morning? Do you sit in the middle of the day? Do you meditate at all?

I have wanted for years to meditate. I thought about it but never really did it. At first I did so with guilt. Then I let go of the guilt and spent some time in longing, wishing I could be that dedicated. I've even taught classes in meditation - how to do it, when and where to sit, and of course, why it's important - but I didn't do it regularly myself. It wasn't until almost a year ago that I realized the deep connection I sometimes felt was something I really wanted to tune into on a regular basis. So then I made a concerted effort.

I tried mornings and found my body was just too stiff for it to be tolerable. I was more apt to be interrupted in the morning, once one or all 3 of my children woke up. I tried the middle of the day. The challenge was that the middle of the day was different each day because my schedule varied so much. I like consistency and needed that to create this habit. I settled on the evening. After the children where asleep and the house was dark and quiet I found more places in my home that seemed comfortable for meditating. I like my bedroom on the floor or sitting on my bed. I like the couch, near the corner table. I would practice stillness while lying with my children as the drifted off to sleep. I would spend a few moments in gratitude as I warmed up my own bed.

What I have found is that I couldn't push the matter, I couldn't force myself to do it. I had to want it and want the feeling meditating brought me. I had experienced it enough to know that it felt good. I had learned it and taught it enough to know how to do it comfortably. I even acted as if - I told people that I meditated regularly. Not to create a farce, but in essence, to talk myself into it. What I have found is that I allowed myself to experiment with it to find what worked for me and to know that I am a better person when I meditate. I am calmer, more peaceful and more aware of my self. I want more silence and solitude. I have a 3 year old, I need all the silence and solitude I can get! I can now create this sanctuary of my own release and connection to my breath anytime I choose to. Now I practice this too.

Meditation doesn't need to be complicated. So many have said to me, "I don't know what to do" or "I can't make my mind stop". The most important thing you need to know about meditation is that you don't have to make your mind stop and there really is no thing you "do". You just sit down and be still and silent. Then pay attention to what happens. Eventually your mind will tire of the constant chatter and it will get silent too. Then the magic happens.

To relax, or not to relax.

"Man is so made that he can only find relaxation from one kind of labor by taking up another."
- Anatole France

Does that sound like you? An example of this would be, taking a break from cleaning the house and "relaxing" by watching TV. Or "relaxing" from your work to check Facebook. Give me just about anything you do to relax and I can tell you why it isn't really relaxing. And now I'll tell you why you should care. Relaxation is the one true thing that will counter stress. Stress being more than just the generalized term used to describe everything annoying, interfering, interrupting and downright disliked that exists in our lives. It is all of that, to be sure, and it is so much more.
Stress is a physiological response of the body to something that is life threatening. Or at least it's theoretically life threatening. It could be a car accident, or near accident. It could be an illness or the illness of someone close to you. In modern times, however, it is usually something slightly less. It's the boss who hovers over your shoulder and never finds anything right in what you do. It's your spouses not so nice comments about your weight. It's the car that breaks down and costs more money than you have. Or the children that forget to do their homework and never seem to clean their room. It could be positive too. Your wedding, childbirth, interviewing for a new job, even winning the lottery. Stress like that is not life threatening but it sets up the same response in the body.
So what happens? When a stressful event occurs. adrenaline and epinephrin are released into the bloodstream and your heart rate goes up and blood pressure increases. Glycogen is released by the liver, your cholesteral increases and blood sugar goes up. Your breathing quickens to increase your metabolic rate. Your muscles tense to prepare for flight and lactic acid increases in the muscles. Cortisol* levels increase and your immune response is suppressed. All of this happens to prepare your body for the good old flight-or-fight. If it's life threatening you either fight it off or your run from it.
(*Cortisol is the hormone that causes you to retain fat around your middle)
Most of our stressors now are not life threatening. There IS nothing to fight or run from. There is no major physical action to burn off all this increased, well, everything. We get stuck in traffic - ZOOM - heart rate goes up. A customer yells at you on the phone - BAM - you start to sweat. Someone makes an inappropriate remark - BOOM - your muscles tense. Now what do you do with it? And this is happening every day. This build up in your body is happening on a regular basis without any real release. Can you see where our major health issues come from? Look at the list above again. Increased blood pressure, cholesterol, blood sugar, cortisol levels and suppressed immune system.
It's time we recognize the importance of relaxation. It's really important. So here's the thing - watching TV, having a drink, reading a book, even sitting in a lawn chair watching the neighbors are NOT relaxing. It may seem that way because at least it's not stressful. What is truly relaxing? Meditation, breathing exercises, relaxation exercises or lying still on the floor. I seriously considered stating "exercises" after each one of those. Like with your cardio, stretching or even weights workout, these are exercise too. Consider it your mental or well-being workout. It's something you need to practice and do regularly in order to engage your relaxation response. Go to a class if you can, because for many people relaxation can be a challenge. Many people think they can't do it or they don't know how. It's crucial to try. Your life will thank you for it.

Go with the flow

For months now I have been thinking about, and now finally creating a new website. It is still in progress. I haven't written partly because I felt a shift in my focus and the messages I would share. And partly because I've been waiting for my new site to be completed. It has occurred to me that I do not need to wait. The thoughts and writings I'd like to share can be shared, regardless of the place. And so, today I'm going to let it flow.

"Life isn't meant to be fair, it's meant to be informative."

Flow has been the theme of my life lately. Going with the flow of life, to be specific. So often we fight the tide, and swim against the current. What we should do is float in it.

I imagine myself sitting lazily in an inner tube with my toes dangling in the water, head resting back, soaking up the sun. What better way to move through life?

Life - God, the Universe, Divine Energy - whatever you want to call it, does help us. It's just that we are often so busy fighting, begging, pleading, manipulating or whining to notice! Things don't always go the way we want. What we don't realize is that what we want isn't always the best for us. That means that there are other things out there that are a better fit, a better choice, a better path for our personal journey. It also means that sometimes situations are challenging. That's when we panic and start to paddle back - against the current.

Recently events in my life have proven to me that I don't always know the reason, but there is always a reason. I had planned last year to teach at a retreat that was to take place this last week. Several months ago I had a strong feeling that it wasn't going to happen. People weren't signing up as quickly as they did last year and another teacher canceled. My partner and I made the call and canceled the trip. I was disappointed and yet felt relief too. Then, my partner and I planned to go on a working trip, without our families. We got our dates mixed up. She went this past weekend, I'm going next weekend. During this past week - in which I was supposed to have been gone - I've had a business lunch which created a new partnership and many teaching opportunities and I've been here for my children's conferences and an event at their school. Most importantly, the facility that I teach Yoga at announced on Friday that it is closing. My last class was Saturday. Had I been gone at the retreat I would have missed the last week of classes. Had I gone to work this past weekend I would have missed the last class. New opportunities came up over the weekend as well.

In hindsight, it's clear that I was meant to be here. For myself, for others, for what is coming next. God just had other plans for me. I am grateful that I paid attention. Had I not heeded my own intuition I would have tried to force myself on those trips and missed an amazing week and all of these new things set before me. We all need to listen to our intuition more. Trust that there is a reason. Allow yourself to witness the beauty of flow. See where it takes you.

"At the end of the journey, every decision is seen as helpful
for one reason or another." ~ Betsy Otter Thompson

Moving into the Winter of our lives

Here in Minnesota it seems we went from (a late) summer right into fall. One day it was in the 80's and the next it was in the 50's and hasn't rebounded to anywhere in between. It's been cold and rainy, so much so that it prompted me to ponder, "October showers bring November....?"

While I wish we had some warm or at least warmer, fall days before the snow loomed, I know it's coming one way or the other: Winter. Alas, don't fear the winter. After many late evenings, feeling sleepy from all the sun. After time spent outdoors as much as possible. After doing everything we normally do in our daily lives, AND fitting in barbecues and baseball practice and walks outside, I for one am actually looking forward to winter.

Winter is a time to snuggle into your house and snuggle with your family. Watch a movie and eat popcorn, cook some homemade soup, get caught up on household projects or just sleep a little more. I often say I don't have a favorite season. My favorite season is all of them, as they begin and we shift from one set of activities to another. As the newness of each season approaches with anticipation we look forward to something different, even as we go about all the same routines and habits of old.

Speaking of old habits and routines, the changing of the seasons is also a little time for reflection. As you move into this winter, take time to look back, before the year is over completely, on what has transpired. Is this year going the direction you intended? Have you accomplished those things you wanted to do? Has it gone the way you wanted? Are you getting the results you want in your life?
Either way, I think winter in general, as opposed to just January, is a fantastic time to make some changes. Winter is a time for staying in, for being together, for self reflection. You go out less, you interact less, you spend less. Just like in the current economy. Sometimes life is lively and exciting and growing and expanding (summer) and sometimes life is calm and peaceful and introspective and reflective (winter). What will you do in this winter, both of season and of economic cycles? Go with the flow and take a look back at yourself.

Self reflection can mean reviewing those goals you set earlier in the year, or earlier in your life. It can also mean you find what's not working so well and find ways to make it better. Read more books, educate yourself, find someone you can talk through your problems and issues with, take charge of your health, spend more time with your family. Take this time, this winter of your life, to do whatever it is you need to do to prepare yourself for summer and the next cycle of expansion!

"There is a privacy about it which no other season gives you.... In spring, summer and fall people sort of have an open season on each other; only in the winter, in the country, can you have longer, quiet stretches when you can savor belonging to yourself. "
~Ruth Stout

FUN

Have you heard the phrase, "What if the Hokey Pokey is what it's all about?"

There is some truth to that. What if FUN is what it's all about? What if playing games and singing songs and dancing around is what it's all about? What if?

Then working your fingers to the bone, accumulating debt and things and being tired and crabby is NOT what it's all about. Then many of us are missing out on a really important part of life. The people having fun are the ones we're attracted to. Deep down don't we all want to be included in the party?

I recently road my bike by a graveyard and saw a grave stone that was prepared for a couple. It had their names and dates of birth engraved on it. It had their children's names on it. It also said, "Proud members of the Fun Bunch." Wow, what a concept. They seem to me to be fully prepared for the end of their lives and fully aware that having fun is what it's all about.

"Live life fully while you're here. Experience everything. Take care of yourself and your friends. Have FUN, be crazy, be weird. Go out and screw up! You're going to anyway, so you might as well enjoy the process." ~Anthony Robbins

I asked my children what was fun to them. A bouncy house. A slip 'n' slide. Fishing. Watching fireworks. Oh, to have a child's eyes (and lack of self-consciousness) when it comes to fun.
I know an adult's idea of fun can be a little different than a child's. Maybe it is the same, just done in a different way. You can dance, but take lessons. You can sing, maybe just in the shower. You can play, it's just not duck, duck, goose. Or maybe it is.

Here is a list I recently made of ways to spark fun. Please choose 3 and do them. Today.

• Listen to music loud in the car by yourself singing loudly. Roll the windows down. Sing to the people in the car next to you. Use your thumb as a microphone.
• Play tennis. Especially if you've never played before. Pink balls preferred. By yourself - try to do both sides.
• Wear shirts with funny sayings or pictures on them.
• Learn some jokes that really make you laugh. Then try to tell them to as many people as possible. At least until you can do it without laughing. (here's a good one: A pirate walks into a bar and he has a ship's steering wheel attached to the front of his pants. The bartender asks him, "What's up with the steering wheel?' and the pirate answers, "Arrr, it's driving me nuts")
• Eat a donut. With lots of icky frosting and sprinkles. Or maybe pancakes with sprinkles on them.
• Dance. Anywhere. Anytime.
• Bury yourself in the sand at the beach. Bonus points for having kids bury you. Bonus, bonus if they're not your kids.
• Play video games. Especially simulator ones you get to sit on - like a motorcycle or ATV. Or wii.
• 3 words: Dance Dance Revolution
• Go to a music concert. Preferably loud rock or a music festival. Don't forget to crowd surf.
  
• Make up new words to songs.
• Jump in a bouncy house, or on a trampoline. Bonus points for a flip that doesn't land you on your head.
  
• Get a pogo stick or a hula hoop.
• Go on a frog hunt. Bonus points if you catch one and it pees on your hand.
• Go watch fireworks. Outside in your pajamas, laying on a blanket right underneath where they are being shot off.

The last one we did on Saturday night. Enjoy.

Stop and Smell the Milkweed

Take time to stop and smell the roses.

You know what that means. Slow down. Take time to appreciate the sights and sounds (and smells) around you. Stop rushing around and go with the flow. Stop, bend over and smell a flower for goodness sake!

We all rush around so much trying to DO that we forget, no, we won't ALLOW ourselves to stop for anything. Not our food, not our sleep, not our health, not our kids, and certainly not for a flower. Have you ever not taken a break just to go use the bathroom because you were urgently trying to finish something? How bad is it when we can't even stop to use the toilet??

Maybe you do take care of yourself. Maybe you do use the restroom, eat good food, play with your kids and smell the roses.

Do you stop to smell the Milkweed??

As hard as it may seem sometimes to stop for the things we know are really great (the smell of roses), it may seem crazy to think we should stop to check out things that at first glance don't look so hot (a milkweed).

For those of you who don't know, a milkweed is, well, a weed. It's a wild plant that in it's common form is found in the northeastern and north central areas of the U.S. and adjacent areas of Canada. It's called the milkweed because if broken it leaks a sap that looks like milk.
It can grow to between 4 to 6 feet tall. It is poisonous.

At first glance (and with no help from it's name) the milkweed is nothing special. If you found it in your yard or garden you would probably pluck it out. But if you looked closer you'd find an extraordinary plant. It may not have the conventional beauty of a rose, but it has it's own beauty and a whole host of surprises awaiting anyone willing to stop and smell the milkweed.

• The milkweed has over 140 known species and it's flowers range from white to orange and a wide spectrum of pinks.
• It's filaments (that carry the seeds once the milkweed pods open) have been used as insulation and some say are better than down feathers.
• The milkweed sap is a natural remedy for warts and poison ivy.
• Milkweed nectar was used as a natural sweetener by Native Americans and Voyageurs
• The Genus for milkweed, Asclepius, is named after the Greek god of healing, because of the many folk-medicinal uses for the milkweed plants.
• Milkweed plants and nectar are beneficial for many insects, including bees and the most well known milkweed feeding insect - the Monarch Butterfly.

When you do slow down in life, don't just stop for the beautiful things, the things that everyone else says you should enjoy, stop for the unusual, the different, the undervalued, the seemingly insignificant. Because the best part about taking the time to stop and check out something that we overlook and undervalue, the weed, is that...

...the flowers smell better than roses!

Your View, My View

I posted this awhile ago on a blog for my e-course, Awaken to Joy, around the subject of Communication. Laura and I are discussing this topic on our Awaken to Joy radio show today. Enjoy!

Your View, My View

It's important to remember that in every situation there really isn't a truth or reality, it is only your perception or view or evaluation of what is happening. Even so-called objective bystanders are only speaking from their viewpoint.
In any given situation one person may feel angry, indignant, laughed at or criticized. While the other person may be feeling the exact opposite! So which one is right? Is there a right?
Try watching a conversation between two people and see if you can observe without taking sides or forming your own opinion. Notice how each person has their own viewpoint and it becomes their own reality. Then can you do it in a conversation you are participating in?